The Misadventures of Blake & Weiss: A Series of Monochrome Snippets
by Lesprit-de-escalier
Summary: How does our favorite couple go about their daily lives? Find out in this exciting(?) saga of humor, drama, romance, and of course, Zwei.
1. Blake & Weiss Go To McDonald's

"Weiss, what would you like?"

"Anything's fine with me," Weiss folded her arms and looked out the window.

Blake, who had her elbow propped up on the window sill of the car and her other hand placed firmly on the steering wheel, shifted her gaze to her girlfriend, "Are you okay?"

Weiss unfolded her arms and continued to look out the window, this time supporting her chin with her palm. She sighed and responded to the irritating question, "Yes, Blake, I'm fine. Just order what we usually order, okay?"

Blake and Weiss were sitting in the drive-through of McDonald's, and Weiss was currently being very moody.

Blake rolled her eyes and shifted her position to face Weiss a little more, "We're almost at the order box. Are you absolutely sure you don't want anything specific?"

"I _really_ don't feel like playing 20 Questions with you over what to order from a fucking McDonald's, and I _certainly _do not want a Happy Meal!" Weiss shouted, covering her mouth the instant she breathed the last part of her sentence.

. . .

Blake smirked and stepped on the gas, eager to get to the speaker.

A cheerful voice rang out from the small box, "Hi, what can I get for you today?"

Pushing her girlfriend away by the shoulders, Blake struggled to order, "Y-Yes, hello—_Weiss, stop!_—Can I please get the number 2 combo, and a Happy—mmffh!"

Weiss had successfully conquered Blake's arm barricade and sealed her mouth shut before she could spill her most well-guarded secret to the fast-food worker.

* * *

**a/n:** I started a thing about these two idiots in various situations. More than likely, the chapters will just be all over the place, not connecting unless stated in the title.

Enjoy!


	2. Blake & Weiss Go On Tumblr

Blake was scrolling through a website, its layout a dark blue, lined with white boxes in the center that contained either text or images.

Weiss, who placed a mug of tea next to her girlfriend, eyed the website suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

The sound of the scrolling never ceasing, she answered with a concerned tone, "It's called Tumblr. I don't really understand the appeal, but Yang and Ruby are crazy about this site."

Weiss bent over Blake's shoulder to get a closer look at the site, "Do they have weird usernames too? Look at that one, 'kawaii-in-the-streets-senpai-in-the-sheets'. What.. What does _that _mean?"

"Yeah, they gave me their URLs." Blake keyed them both in on separate tabs, "Yang's is.. 'Pantydropperblonde', apparently, and she reblogs a lot of nude women and pictures of cars and motorcycles.. Not to mention cheesy love quotes. It's a little boring."

"… What about Ruby's? And, 'reblogs'?"

"It just means to re-post something someone else already put up. Hers is 'Littleredscythehead' and she reblogs a lot of weird pictures with lots of notes, and lots of posts with only text. Look, here, look at this one, she just reblogged a picture of a monkey wearing a suede jacket, and it's walking around in an Ikea."

Weiss studied the monkey in the jacket carefully, "It's a very nice suede jacket."

"It is a very nice suede jacket," Blake agreed.

Weiss sighed and rested a hand on her shoulder, "As nice as this website seems, the dinner I just picked up is getting cold, and you don't want to waste all my effort, do you?"

"Sorry, you're right," Blake closed the browser immediately and picked up the mug, giving Weiss a kiss on the cheek before heading to the dinner table, "Thanks for getting the pizza."

"Not at all," Weiss watched as her girlfriend opened the large brown box and helped herself to a slice. Out of view, she slid her phone out of her pants pocket and moved the Tumblr app to the trash can with one quick motion—Now she would never know.


	3. Weiss Gets a Tattoo

"Weiss, it won't hurt. It'll be fine."

"Blake Belladonna, I swear, if I feel any sort of discomfort, so help me…"

Weiss and Blake were currently in a tattoo parlor.

The exasperated tattoo artist rolled his eyes and readied his needle on the back of Weiss' shoulder, and in a tired voice he asks her one final time, "So, are you good? Or do you need even _more _time to mentally prepare?"

Weiss snapped back at him, "Excuse you, I will let you know when I'm ready, _thank _you very much! Okay, okay, deep breaths Weiss, deep breaths…"

Blake pursed her lips and tried to hold back an oncoming chuckle, "You sure are nervous about this."

"Of course I am! Considering the degree of this operation, this will be considered one of the most incredible acts of rebellion on my repertoire to date! One must be fully prepared to face what danger lies at the end of that needle."

"Okay, slow your roll, you're overreacting a little bit," Blake looked to the tattoo artist and nodded, "Just go ahead. She'll be fine."

"Wh—HEY, WAIT!"

* * *

Weiss and Blake have decided to pay a visit to Yang and Ruby in the mess hall after Weiss' tattoo appointment.

Yang sat at the table eating a piece of roast beef while Ruby played her 3DS. Their Sunday afternoon was interrupted by a very proud looking Schnee girl bounding up to them and pulling her bolero off to show off her shoulder, "Feast your eyes!"

Yang continued to eat, though puzzled, "Feast our eyes on what? We've already seen you naked, your shoulder isn't going to do much—OW!"

Weiss lightly kicked Yang in the shin for her remark, but she was so excited about her new tattoo that she let it slide, "No, look closely. Look, see? I'm the first of Team RWBY to get a tattoo. No one can call me Snow Angel anymore!"

Blake covered her eyes in embarrassment for her girlfriend, though she found her boundless pride over her tattoo nevertheless endearing.

Yang and Ruby squinted as they checked the porcelain skin, and they found nothing. Ruby spoke this time, "Weiss, we can't see anything. But you do have a teeny tiny mole here that I've never seen…"

"No, that's my tattoo. Isn't it impressive? I know, I know, you may be jealous, but don't worry. I'm sure either of you will soon work up the courage to withstand the pain as well."

…

…

Yang and Ruby looked at each other, and then to Blake, who was smiling, but she was pretending to check her scroll.

The mess hall was filled with boisterous laughter and subsequent angry yelling after that.

* * *

**a/n: **I feel the oncoming sensation of an AU. A tattoo artist AU.


	4. Weiss Runs up the Stairs

Weiss Schnee was standing at the bottom of her staircase.

Now, Weiss was an upstanding gal. She has perfect grades, perfect attendance, perfect hair, and an incredible talent for fighting. She was proper, like any person of the Schnee family should be. She knew how to set a fancy dinner table, and she could distinguish teas from one another, even though she preferred coffee. She knew how to fence, and she knew how to craft origami.

Weiss Schnee was still standing, nervously, at the bottom of her staircase.

She tried to walk away, but no! Her feet seemed to move on their own as she was drawn back to the stairs. She paced back and forth, forth and back, but there was no escaping the taunting aura, and she silently cursed the temptation that was currently coursing through her well-bred veins.

She looked to the right. Was anyone there? No. She peeked to the left and into the living room, anyone there? Nope. The coast was clear.

This will be the day she's waiting for.

With no one in the room, and with her girlfriend probably asleep somewhere in the house, Weiss took to all fours and readied herself on the staircase. She took a few tentative steps up, the foreign feeling giving her an exciting rush, but soon she took to it in stride.

Yes, she would finally be able to run up the stairs on all fours.

Given the size of the staircase, there would be plenty of opportunity to practice! And with no other people on the horizon, she would be saved the embarrassment.

A few more steps and she was off. She clamored up the stairs at full speed, feeling the wind in her hair, the plush carpet between her fingers…

"Weiss, where did you put.. the…"

The Schnee girl froze. She froze like a deer caught in headlights.

And Blake stood in the doorway to the kitchen, holding a cookbook.

…

"I-I CAN EXPLAIN!"

Blake turned and ran for her phone to tell Yang all about what just happened.


	5. Blake the Tattoo Artist: Part 1

The soft buzzing of the needle rang loud throughout the silent tattoo shop on a peaceful Saturday morning.

Blake Belladonna was finishing up a client that came in for a session, coloring the piece she'd started for him the week before, and was now relishing in the relief of not having anything to do thereafter. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy tattooing people; it was her life, after all.

But sometimes, you just wanna have some time for yourself.

"Thanks, dude! Let me know how that heals, alright?" The client left with a vibrant display of ink on his shoulder, giddy about having gotten a tattoo from the very famous artist.

Blake's tattoo shop was well-known throughout Vale, people of all backgrounds coming to her for her talents. She did have employees, and while they were good, there were _always _people who asked for Blake. But, she picked and chose her clients wisely, only having the patience to tattoo people with a clear picture and good meaning behind their tattoos. Their desires and mindsets mattered to Blake, and while she didn't have a problem with people who got tattoos on a whim, she just didn't prefer tattooing them herself.

She herself had an array of tattoos, one full-sleeve and one half, a few tattoos on her back, and one on her calf. She sported a septum piercing, and while her appearance screamed cliché as per the tattoo artist's usual, she didn't care.

Stretching her arms above her head, she reclined in her chair and put her feet up on the desk she'd kept all her sketches on. Thinking she could finally make some tea, the door to the shop creaked open, the bell above the top edge jingled excitedly.

She took the time to roll her eyes before turning herself around to meet the customer, "Hey, what can I do… You…"

Standing before her was a thing of beauty. A short, not _too_ short girl with stunning alabaster hair, in a simple, innocent looking dress had walked in, her presence so duly noted. She had a wonderfully pale complexion, with gorgeous ice-blue eyes.

Now what was a girl like that, doing in a place like this?

Blake shook the less-than-decent thoughts that sped through her head to warrant a proper greeting, "H-Hello, I'm Blake, the owner of this shop. What can I do for you today?" She even extended her hand for good measure.

It seemed she was too distracted by the girl's beauty to notice that she too was struggling for words, but she took Blake's hand regardless, "I'm Weiss, and, uh, well—" she cleared her throat, "I-I came in today hoping to discuss a possible, um, work, done on my person. My body. Me," she realized she was still holding Blake's hand and promptly let go, "You know what, let's just. I'll come back, sorry for bothering you!"

She backed up a few steps before heading to the door, and before she sped off, she took one last look at the beautiful tattoo artist.

And she was gone.

Blake Belladonna was left standing in her shop, struck by an inexplicable desire to tattoo that girl.

And then maybe take her out for dinner.


	6. Weiss' Dress

Weiss was busy getting ready for a small, formal dinner they had planned for the evening. Yang, Ruby, Coco and Velvet would be joining them, and they agreed to meet up at a swanky little place in downtown Vale.

Blake was dressed and ready to go, but her girlfriend, unlike usual, was lagging a bit. She didn't really mind, she simply scrolled through Tumblr for a while, before Weiss yelled from the bathroom, "Almost readyyyy!"

Blake smiled and rolled her eyes playfully, continuing to get caught up on her dashboard. It was about 8 o'clock, and they weren't due to meet up with anyone until 8:30 because of their reservation, but still; it was rather unlike Weiss to take longer than Blake to get dressed. Usually, the heiress would be tapping her foot in anticipation as she waited by the door, and then she would scold Blake for taking 6 minutes longer than her to be ready to leave.

Finally, Weiss was heard clacking in her heels from the bathroom, eager to show Blake her attire.

She sported a short dress, two-toned, with a lighter color on the bottom, and the darker color on top. It was tasteful, refined and simple.

Weiss spun around a bit for Blake to see her in full view, "Soo, what do you think?"

Blake considered the dress, and decided she rather liked it. "It's really nice, though I would never have taken you for the type to wear blue and black."

"… What?" Weiss stopped her spinning to look at Blake with an extremely concerned look in her eye, "Wait, what?"

Blake was equally as confused now, "Um. I just didn't.. I thought you'd be wearing something a little lighter? Like white, or something. It's not bad though, not in the least!"

"No, no I heard you, but. But Blake, this dress _is _white. And gold, for that matter," Weiss motioned to the two tones.

Blake squinted, wondering if she was seeing things, "No, it's… I mean, it's definitely blue and black."

"Blake, are you joking right now? It's literally not blue and black. It's white. And gold. How can you not see this!?"

"I, I don't know, I see blue and black Weiss, I don't know what to say to you!" Blake was a little scared now to be perfectly honest. One of them was clearly insane, and it was either her or her girlfriend.

"Oh my god, okay, we're not doing this right now. Let's go. We're going to be late."

Blake was dejected as she followed her girlfriend out the door.

Will the mystery of 'The Dress' ever be solved?


	7. Don't Do It

Weiss Schnee was always a person that had a preferred way of doing things.

These 'things' could range from a certain battle formation, all the way down to the way someone folds their own laundry. There was never any room for error with her, and she would give you absolute hell if you did things in a fashion that she did not approve of.

Blake Belladonna was always a classy girl, never expending more energy than she needed for activities, resulting in a rather controlled, habitual completion ratio.

But, Blake did enjoy the pastime of teasing Weiss, and today would be no different.

The pair was in the kitchen, on the first level of Weiss' mansion. Dawn had long since come, and breakfast was to be consumed in a timely manner if they wanted to be on time for the plans they'd made with Yang and Ruby.

Weiss had made herself a nice waffle, complete with peanut butter and syrup, a combination that doesn't quite sit well with Blake.

And Blake, well…

Weiss looked up from her plate, noticing a strange movement pattern coming from the girl, "What are you doing?"

Blake had prepared a small bowl on the counter, along with a carton of milk and a box of cereal.

Now, normally, and according to most culinary statutes, the dry goes before the wet. However, on this morning, Miss Belladonna was willing to try her luck.

Blake readied the carton of milk over the bowl, garnering a response from Weiss, "Blake, you're holding the milk."

Blake peered at her girlfriend, tipping the carton ever so slightly.

With a gasp, Weiss warns, "Hoe, don't do it."

The universe has cracked open once Blake poured the milk, quite insistently, before the cereal.

"Oh my god," the exasperated heiress remarks.


	8. Blake & Weiss Kisses: Part 1

Blake was usually the first to wake up out of the two of them, often being greeted with the first cracks of sunlight through the curtains. And usually yet, she didn't mind waiting for Weiss to wake up, so long as she didn't have any early morning engagements to get to.

On this particular morning, however, Blake's patience for her lover was wearing quite thin, for reasons unknown.

She laid in bed, her elbow propped up on the pillow, and watched Weiss sleep peacefully.

"Come on, just wake up already…"

Blake thought Weiss looked something akin to angelic when she was sleeping. Her cheeks were soft and pale, her lips pink and supple.. There was little Blake could do to resist her.

The minutes ticked on, and Blake grew more and more impatient, looking at the clock every so often. Just how long did she plan on sleeping? Good grief. Sure, it was a Saturday, but still!

Blake looked back and forth from Weiss' eyes to her lips, from her lips to her eyes, and eventually she gave up trying to hold it in any longer: She quickly pecked her sleeping girlfriend, withdrawing to see if she would wake up from the contact.

. . .

Still she slept!

Cautiously, Blake placed another small kiss on Weiss' cheek this time. Perhaps this would wake her?

. . .

Aaaand still nothing.

Feeling a challenge growing within her, Blake took the opportunity to place several tiny kisses on Weiss' face, starting from her forehead. This oughta show her what's what.

Kiss after kiss, still Weiss slept, much to Blake's annoyance. But after the sixteenth kiss or so, it seems the heiress finally stirred, opening her eyes slowly. "Blake, what on Remnant are you doing…?"

Blake could only respond by immediately wrapping her arms around Weiss' neck lovingly and kissing her over and over again, this time much more enthusiastically.

We can only imagine what's going through Weiss' mind right now. Just woken up, being ravaged by a gorgeous woman so early in the morning? Hot damn.

"B-Blake, hey, what's going on!?" Weiss exclaimed, trying to wrangle in her girlfriend from her attack, "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine, it's just.." She finally stopped her assault on the poor girl, feeling just a little embarrassed now, "I just felt overwhelmed by the need to see you, and you took about a decade to wake up. Sorry."

Weiss' expression softened, returning her lover's embrace tenderly, "No, don't apologize. It's fine. You're finally giving me the attention I deserve, so I suppose I can allow it."

Though she was met with a snarky answer, Blake was glad to hear she had permission to continue her onslaught. With a laugh, she took Weiss' face in both her hands and gave her kisses until both their stomachs demanded breakfast.


	9. Weiss Plays Pokemon

It was a quiet day in the Belladonna-Schnee household. Both were off work, and it was a tad rainy outside; perfect for relaxing at home indoors.

Sitting against the armrest of their couch, Weiss tapped endlessly at the screen of her 3DS to feed her newest addiction: Pokémon. She'd just recently started a game, borrowing Blake's copy of Omega Ruby.

Thing is.. She'd started at about 5 in the morning, and it was only 10 AM, but she hadn't put it down since. Weiss had woken up for unknown reasons, and rather than forcing herself to go back to sleep, she shook Blake awake to keep her company. As much as Blake had wanted to, she couldn't wake herself up to properly give Weiss attention, and so she groaned and lazily pointed to the bedside table, and thus her copy of the game.

Weiss was familiar with Pokémon, but she'd often use her 3DS to play Ace Attorney and Nintendogs, of all things. Today, she'd figure she might as well try it out.

Sure enough, she was already hooked. Blake had woken up a little earlier, and once she saw Weiss engrossed with the game, she decided to take a quick shower and cook up some breakfast. On her way to the kitchen, she leaned over the couch and peeked at Weiss' screen.

"So what's in your party?"

Weiss didn't cease her battling. "Mmm…" She opened up her party.

"Hmm.. Wait, _how _long have you been playing this?" Blake squinted to see if she was mistaken while looking at the advanced party.

"Just a few hours. Why, is this impressive somehow?"

Weiss had a full party of mostly evolved Pokémon. A Sceptile—Weiss mentioned to Blake a while ago that Treeko seemed like the most intelligent out of the three starters offered—a Glaceon, a Vaporeon—

"Why do you have so many eeveelutions?"

"They're cute, Blake, and they are competent. I haven't lost a battle yet with them. Honestly I should just have a party with nothing _but_ them."

She also had an Arcanine, a Dragonair, and..

"Is.. That a Purrloin? I guess it's cute, but why?"

Weiss shifted the 3DS away from Blake's view, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. "No real reason! I-I just felt like I needed to have it, that's all."

Blake hung her head, concealing a laugh. "Very nice. Do you like the game so far?"

Weiss turned her head to give Blake a quick kiss on the cheek before turning her attention back to the game. "I do. The type system and its intricacies are in depth and well thought-out. It's very impressive. Though these "gym leaders" leave much to be desired. Why are they so amateur? Aren't they supposed to be _leading?_"

Weiss' criticisms of the game were expected. Blake rested her chin on her palm, watching her girlfriend's brow furrow now and again. "Well, it's supposed to be fun. And I'm sure the leaders know what they're doing. After all, a lot of the adventurers are children in the long run."

"That's no excuse! Children should be taught the harsh ways of the world at a young age…"

"_Really_, Weiss?"

"I'm just saying! Not _everyone_ is going to have a level 10 Pokémon for you to train on in the beginning, Blake. I'm just thinking of their preparation."

Blake let her arms hang loosely around Weiss' neck, running her fingertips along her arms. "Aw, you _do_ care about children. How very sweet of you."

"Hmph. May I borrow this cartridge for a while longer?" Weiss finally let one side of the 3DS go to reciprocate Blake's gestures, delicately raking her nails along the other girl's bicep.

"Of course, though I don't think it'll take you too long to beat the game at this rate." Blake retreated off the back of the couch, the space above Weiss no more than a fleeting feeling. "Well, if you need me, I'll be making breakfast." She did return, however, to leave a lasting breath in Weiss' ear, "Don't get too addicted, Ace Trainer."

Missing the feeling of warmth already, Weiss hastily saved her game. She peered back over the couch with a flustered face and closed the device, leaving it there for later. She hopped up quickly and followed Blake into the kitchen.


	10. Dreamlike State

Her lips were so, so soft. Softer than anything I've ever been able to conceive in my mind.

The sound of the occasional car passing by, the city lights blinking innocently and flickering through the blinds, desperately trying to grab our attention trickle in. The window is creaked open, a cool draft flowing freely through the room, laying its tendrils of blue on our glistening skin, hoping to calm our nerves even for moment…

Heavy and half-lidded, eyes like newly fallen snow permeate my being without fail; though there is opposition in our gaze. I can sense a yearning, passionate want coming from her, and much unlike the girl itself.. It's impatient. Controlling. Won't take no for an answer. From the first day we met, there were sparks, of that I am sure—sparks of curiosity, but also of danger. Of conflict.

Her thighs on either side of mine, straddling my waist as I easily hold her upright.. The feeling is unexplainable. I try and wrap my head around the tangible, greedily roaming my hands up her stomach, around her back, all over her neck, chest, waist—anywhere, any_thing_ I could touch to get a feel for the ethereal, I do it. I kiss her once, she chases me back for more. Hurriedly asking for entrance with her tongue, I grant it. We break, and all I can see is the enthralling rise and fall of her chest in the moonlight streaming in. Strips of pale light falling across her already porcelain skin.. It's like a dream.

A dream that I _never_ want to wake up from.

She presses her body to mine, a silent beg that she wants us to continue. I can feel the pressure on my lap as she moves her body in a shy, rhythmic trance, goading me into moving my hands where she wants them—but I stay as I am, hopelessly trying to find a way to prolong these moments.

I bring my hands up to run them through alabaster locks, locks I've been in love with for a while now. I attempt to tilt her head slightly, giving myself access to the recesses of her neck, marking my place possessively. I don't mean to, but I can't resist letting my teeth pull at her skin, apologizing with small licks and around again with strong sucking at the same place. I smirk as I see light fall on that angry red mark, surely turning blue and purple by morning. It's fine. She didn't have work tomorrow, anyway.

With a growl, she yanks my hand away and shoves it down between the two of us. Her brow is furrowed, and I can tell she won't wait any longer.

She silently mouths two distinct words.

I won't deny her the satisfaction.


	11. Smol

Blake and Weiss were on their way to the animal shelter to pick out a new friend.

Originally, Weiss had wanted a dog, but due to Blake's allergies, she decided she didn't mind getting a cat instead. A kitten, even.

Weiss has had little background with pets before, the most she'd ever had as a child was a fish or two, and perhaps a boa constrictor, but those pets were far less demanding than a four-legged mammal.

They entered the shelter, which was filled with the familiar noise of barking and the scent of antiseptic and dog food.

The receptionist at the desk greeted the two of them, cheerful and eager-looking. "Hello there, you two! Are you here for a visit? Or maybe you just wanted to take a look around?"

Blake gave the woman a small wave while Weiss answered vocally. "Good morning. I—Hmm, Blake, did you wanna look around the shelter first?"

"I sort of just wanted to look at the cats, if that was okay. Not that dogs aren't cute, it's just.. Yeah."

Weiss turned back to the woman, "Which way are the cats?"

The woman smiled and got up from her seat to show them the way to the side room. "We keep all our kitties back over here, because they get stressed out easily with all the dogs barking and the people walking by. It's relatively quiet in here, as you can see, and this is also where we schedule visits with the little ones."

Blake and Weiss followed the worker into the back room, which was filled with crates of different cats and kittens. One particular kitten caught Blake's eye, a little black one with white paws. The worker took noticed and opened up the crate, gently handing the kitten over to Blake, who handled the kitten as if it were made of crystalline glass.

As she cradled it in her arms, Weiss scratched the kitten a little, causing it to mewl and stretch.

Blake couldn't help but smile at the little thing. "Aw, Weiss, he's so smol.."

. . .

Weiss paused her movements, her brow furrowing in concentration. She looked to the right, then left, then to Blake. "He's… _what?_"

Blake repeated. "He's smol!"

… Weiss still couldn't figure out what the hell was coming out of Blake's mouth. She covered her eyes and shook her head slightly, "Smol?"

"Yes, smol."

"… What is _smol_, Blake?"

Blake protectively held the kitten closer to her chest, "I-I don't know, it's just something I heard Ruby say! It's supposed to mean like, small and cute, right?"

Weiss didn't know whether or not to laugh or groan. She turned to the worker, mentally preparing to try and understand this strange word later on. "Okay! Well, um, thank you, I think we actually might be adopting this kitten after all!"


End file.
